10.23.2008

Kyrie & Jake

Little sis & Big brother


Beautiful Baby with lots of hair


10.22.2008

Common Sense

A friend sent me this in an email.. and I found it to be a bit comical and sadly true.. enjoy
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An Obituary. Interesting and sadly true.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, 'Common Sense', who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; that life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouth wash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home, but if you did anyway, the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust. His wife Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is, however, survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights; I Want It Now; Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Can't Help Myself

I have tried.. and I can't stop myself from posting these pictures.

Eric's mom sent me an email today with pictures of Eric as a widdle kid and I have to share so you all can see how cute he is/was!





Sorry sweetie.. I love you!

10.21.2008

manners.. or lack there of

So.. I'm ticked. I was on hold with the doctors office for 20 minutes!!! waiting for them to find my files to be faxed over to another doctor. 20 FREAKING MINUTES! And after twenty minutes.. after I told them that I'm still on hold they just put me on hold again. WTF! I was trying to talk to the lady and she didn't even bother to try to listen. Just hit the hold button again!
What a freaking joke! Maybe it is a good thing I'm changing doctors! (also.. their musak sucked ass) I'll try again later perhaps it will be easier.

10.15.2008

Kyrie

I want..

There is this online shop that I go look around in every once in a while. I bought gifts for my employees for the holidays last year there. The shop is Sprout Home. They have some really neat and interesting things at this store.

I purchased these for my employees for Christmas last year. The group really seemed to like them. Nobody said if they were actually able to get them to grow.. but they all still enjoyed the idea behind it!



Now I have found this and dying to purchase it! Think I might break down and get it soon though if I can find the money.



Isn't he beautiful!


So if you feel the need to purchase something for me.. feel free to get me this! ;-)

Kyrie Athena Hale

I have become an aunt for the second time tonight! OMG!

I now have a super sweet niece named Kyrie Athena Hale.

Her Stats:
Kyrie (Ky sounds like "sky" minus the s; rie sounds like "ree")
bd: 10/14/08
wt: 7 lbs. 11 oz.
lth: 21" Long
Lots of black hair and dark eyes
All fingers and toes intact!

Mom is doing well. She was tired though I don't believe she had to push more than twice! Once she got to the hospital I believe she had the baby within an hour or just over an hour. It went sooo fast!

The Dad (my big bro Jason) is doing great!

Here is the first picture Jas sent me.


Look at all that hair!!! She has a beautiful little girl cry..
this is short but sooo cute.


video

Once the nurses got done bugging her they turned the light off that was over her and she opened her eyes. She looked around and stared at her dad for a minute. It was so sweet. Was really hard for me to not cry.

I am going to leave you now with one last picture of my beautiful sweet Kyrie. I will post more pictures when I get them. All these were taken with phones so they aren't the best, but you can still see her beautiful face!

10.09.2008

Stupidness..

So.. I'm at home sitting on my ass while I should be working on stuff around the house. I suppose there is always tomorrow.
Today I want to talk about something that may make some people upset with me. Which I'm willing to risk it as it is something that I have wanted to talk about for many years.
Today when I got home my mother called me and we got to talking about the family. Again the family is becoming divided again. Over the past 10 or so years (maybe a little bit longer) my family has slowly been torn apart by family members that are petty and immature.
When I was young I had this amazing family. My moms side of the family all live in within the metro area around her. We got together for every birthday, every holiday or any reason we could think of to have some kind of family gathering. I remember my mom on the phone every night talking to one of her 3 sisters for at least an hour. I grew up being babysat by my older cousins and spending many weekends with my cousins that were my age. I have a cousin that grew up with me that was like a sister. We hung out all the time. Every Christmas my mom would take us kids to one of her sisters houses and we would create chocolate candy. I just remember growing up around this family that loved me and that everyone loved each other. I just remember growing up with all this family and always thought it was pretty amazing and neat that everyone enjoyed being around each other.
As time has gone on and we have all grown up and I'm now watching my cousins children grow up it is amazing how the family has changed. I remember when I started noticing the family falling apart. I think it started when one of my aunts was going through a divorce. The problem is that the man she was getting a divorce from was a good friend of my moms and had been a close friend of the family for many years before he even married my aunt. My mom has been friends with him since they both were teenagers. My mother also worked for him. So during this divorce my mom decided to not take sides. She wanted to respect her good friend and her sister by stepping out. However her sister saw it differently. So differently in fact that she felt it was necessary to corner my mother at a family function in the kitchen and call her a bitch. It just seemed to get worse from there. Another incident that happened around the time of that divorce is when my grandfather (my mothers father) had a heart attack and was in and out of the hospital. My older brother and I went to visit him and as we were leaving that same aunt was coming into the room and never even looked at me or said hi or asked how we were doing. I was pretty hurt. I never did anything to that woman to make her dislike me. I feel now that she doesn't like me due to the fact that I am the child of her sister that decided to stay neutral. 
The following year or two later (I'm not exactly sure when) my mother and father started having problems. First my dad moved out of the house.. then back in and I think maybe he moved out twice. Then finally my mother moved out and that was that. It was a pretty hard time for everyone. It was a crazy blur to me. I was at the time was planning a wedding and trying to get through the first year of the new marriage. My dad took everything pretty hard. In November that same year my dad committed suicide. You might think that when something so tragic like this happens that is when family's would pull together but in fact it was quite the opposite. I don't know if I've ever felt so alienated from my family. Not my mother or brothers but my aunts and cousins that I grew up with. The ones that I was so close with as a young child. People started blaming my mother for everything that happened. It was her fault that he was gone and her fault that he did what he did. I never felt so alone than at that time. I remember crying a lot not only for the loss of my father but for the loss of my family. At that time it was like going through more than one death in the family. It probably took about a year for me to finally get over being so hurt to finally becoming mad.
So another thing to make the family even more pissed at my mother.. She started seeing that friend of hers that used to be married to her sister. Yes even I had a hard time with that in the beginning. I can't say that I know the whole story of when they exactly got together or how it all happened but they are still together today and happy. I understand why people in the family would be upset but so many years later you would only hope that maybe they would see that they are happy and as weird as it was in the beginning that it fits. I told my mother that the thing that was the most important was to be sure that whatever she does that it should make her happy. If that means being with her sisters ex then so be it.
So now I don't go to see my family at any of the functions. I am tired of people wanting to talk to me to find out some gossip or to just be nosey. They have pissed me off so much that I just don't care anymore. They have been rude and down right nasty to my mother. I won't be rude to them when I am around them but I'm not going to sugar coat things and pretend that they haven't upset me. So now I just won't purposefully put myself in situations where I have to be around them.
Last year I met up with an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. She proceeded to tell me that she was walking through the store.. I believe it may have been Wal-mart.. when my aunt (the one that divorced my moms "boyfriend".. now that sounds weird but so does partner) saw her she just walked up and told her that my mom killed my father. As if she was the one who pulled the trigger. At that time my friend didn't even know that my father had died. She is standing in the middle of the store with my aunt saying the awful things to her and all she is thinking is Oh My God my friend dad is dead.. HOW FREAKING RUDE AND HURTFUL CAN YOU BE.
So now I have found out that this same aunt is now alienating her own daughter because she made a mistake. People make mistakes. Big ones small one but isn't your mothers love supposed to be unconditional? This cousin of my allegedly cheated on her husband. And while that is a HUGE mistake and very poor way to deal with problems in a marriage it doesn't mean that she should be kicked to the curb. People open your freaking eyes. I am now also hearing that her sister won't let her see her nieces and nephews with out it being under supervised visits that are only at the children's home. My cousin has been babysitting these children since they were infants and now suddenly because she cheated on her husband she can't see any of her family. I feel so bad for her. He own mother won't even talk to her. I told my mom that she needs to make sure to keep calling her and talking to her and make sure she knows that she will be there should she need anything. I can only hope that things get better with her sister and her mother. I hope this because I will never be ok with quite a few of my family members. I will never forget how they have treated my mother. There are quite a few more times they have been nothing by mean and malicious to her. I am over it. I don't want to see you all anymore. No matter how many birthday parties you invite me to I will not be there. You might just say that is my loss but I see it as your loss. GROW UP PEOPLE. I find it very sad that I am a more mature person than my aunts that are in their 50's. More mature than a few cousins that are in their late 30's. I will no longer cry because I miss you. I don't miss you anymore. You have hurt my heart, you have hurt my mom. I love her even though she has made some poor choices in her life but I will love her unconditionally for ever. I still love my father even though he made a very poor choice and it's a choice that no one will ever recover from. Yes I'm mad at him but I will always love him so very much. You all need to realize that life is short and family is an amazing thing to have and you have managed to rip it to shreds. There are so many more things I want to say but word escape me for now.
So I am going to share with you another old post that I wrote on MySpace but never opened for other people to read. It is from January of this year.
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Bill is still here....

Can't any one see that? Don't they see life is too short to be angry for this long.

Why can't they see that he lives on in us kids..

I love you papa.. I miss you..

10.06.2008

Dusty Homemaker?

Oh my goodness.. It's like something has taken over in my brain and I am finally getting some things done! Oh.. and get this.. Enjoying it!! OMG!

First lets start with the apples. My mom gave me a BUNCH of apples off her apple tree. I have now made a total of 4 apple pies. FOUR APPLE PIES.. I had to give them all away since there is no way I could even eat one whole apple pie. I think I had a total of 3 slices of pie before I just couldn't take it any more. I still have apples left and I have to figure out what to do with them before they start rotting on my front porch. If you have any ideas please let me know.

Next I worked on curtains for my entry hall. I have had the fabric for the curtains for over a year and have finally started working on them. We have even had the rods mounted for a year. (I am such a procrastinator) I have 2 of the 4 panels complete. I'll finish up the other 2 this week. I also finally hemmed a pair of Eric's pants that he had never gotten to wear because they were too long. Granted he won't be able to wear them much longer since he is losing weight. (47 pounds lost!! GO Sweetie!) They are already a bit too big for him but with a belt they are fine for the time being.

Now.. onto the big project. We have been remodeling our bathroom for 2 years now. We had the tile and all wainscoting and moldings installed last summer. I had started to paint only because we needed to get the toilet and radiator installed before winter hit. So by winter the wall that is behind the toilet and radiator was the only one painted. BUT we did have the ability to now take showers in our own home. That was so very exciting. That and I didn't have to go downstairs to go pee in the middle of the night and almost break my neck on the stairs. So this weekend we have been working away on the bathroom in order to get the sink installed and finish up the bathroom. I have been painting all day and it is almost complete. I have one more coat of white paint to put on the moldings and the wainscoting and then we can install the sink and a few of the metal fixtures. I will then have the window and the shelving unit left to paint which I hope to also finish this week or at least by the end of the weekend. I almost have a completely finished bathroom!!! Oh and we also got the door on! Granted we only got one of the three doors installed but it is the most important door of them all! The one that when someone is walking up the stairs they can't peek into the bathroom!

So I have been getting all this stuff done that has taken me more than a year to complete. I have also been better at keeping things picked up around this house. Granted we still have a long way to go before everything is gone through and organized but we are definitely moving in the right direction.

It is weird how I am suddenly in the mood to get this stuff done. So I am taking advantage of it and trying to not slow down. I don't know how long this will last before I get to the point where I can't stand to do it anymore. Let's hope it is after it get everything done.. Which I'm sure will be NEVER!

10.05.2008

Another Older Post

Still consolidating my writing that I have been doing for awhile. This is a blog entry that was on my MySpace page that I wrote July 17, 2007.

I promise that I will post something new here real soon.

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Sometimes being alone sucks.

Some days (like tonight) I sit back and miss the days when I would have friends over almost every night. Ever since Jeff and I split up it seems that my life has gotten much emptier. Not that I don't love the guy I'm with, and he does fill my life with joy and is a great friend, it just gets lonely when he works nights and I have no one to talk to (which is most nights). I sit in this house with 3 cats and my dog and miss having people to just sit around and have a good time and laugh with. Sure seems like a long time ago when I used to go over to my brother-in-laws house and just play cards, have a drink and just shoot-the-shit with a group of friends. I really don't mind some days coming home and having the night to myself. But I do miss the card playing days.

I see my friends now with people they have known for many years.. They always have someone to talk to and stories to tell and inside jokes. I wonder now.. Was it me? Did something I do or something I said push people away.. am I just that forgettable? I have people I've known for many years just walk away and never say goodbye. People I used to be extremely close to and thought that we would always be friends just disappear, maybe to only be heard from again when I get an email when they need something... someone to watch their kids, someone to go help their mother with some catering job. Did the fact that I got a divorce really make people dislike me. I was a loyal friend.. I was always there if they needed me.. I still am there.. just quietly waiting.

I will admit...that once Jeff and I split I took some time out to just figure some things out. I needed some space to deal with what happened.. but the few that came around did not stay around.. the phone calls, what few there were, dwindled to none.

I'm not looking for pity here. I guess I'm just trying to understand...

I always tried to not be that pestering annoying friend.. maybe that was my downfall in not having life long friends. Maybe I tried so hard to not call too often and not say the wrong thing, to try and insure that they aren't saying about me what I've heard them say about so many other friends.. (Don't be the bitchy one.. don't say something stupid.. don't be too needy.. don't.. don't.. just don't) (don't lie.. you know we have all talked about our friends behind their backs).

WHY DO I LET THIS CRAP GET TO ME! {sigh}

Maybe now I still put too much thought into "trying" to have friends.. maybe it isn't that hard.. Maybe I just need to take the word "trying" out and just have some friends.

Surely I can figure this out.

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Anyone want to get together to play some cards, have a drink and just shoot-the-shit?

10.01.2008

another something I wrote a while back

Wrote this a while back when I was sad and thinking of my father..

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Hello you...
I have missed you...
I have dreams and see your face...
I remember you so clearly...

There are times I sit and think...
Was there anything I could have done..
You left me so early...
We were so young...

I see your eyes.
I see your smile.
I feel your hugs.
In my dreams you haunt me.

There is so much I want to say.
So much I should have done.
I can't get you out of my head.
Can't seem to let you go.

I still love you
No matter what they say
I still love you
In my special way

I wish you would leave my dreams.
Let me sleep
I'm so tired.
to tired to weep

I love you
come back to me
I love you
Please just let me be.