12.15.2011

it's a metaphor

the sea, the sun & my moon

i am sitting here adrift in the sea
sometime there are waves crashing down and i think i may drown
     sometimes i don't fight it and i wish the sea would take me
     sometimes i try to fight back which usually just leads me dripping wet and tired
     but most times i just hold on.. knowing...
that i have a beautiful friend, the sun
     she has a beautiful blond almost white light.
     she shows me that there is light even though it seems so far away at times
     she helps me want to hold on
     she tells me i am strong
     she is beautiful and i would be lost without her
sometimes the sea is dead still and i move neither forward or backward
     it makes me feel lost
     i try to push myself forward but i go nowhere
     sometimes i lay there and cry and ask why..
         i try so hard, i push, i paddle, i wear myself out trying but yet i go nowhere
         i don't understand
     but i know there is someone i can count on..
my rock, my moon
     he is my strength when i have none
     he follows me wherever i go watching over me
     he quietly helps me carry my burdens
     seeing him i know i will be alright.  he will always be there
at times the wind pushes me in directions i don't want to go
and at other times there is a soft breeze at my back pushing me slowly forward
on soft waves that rock me and make me feel content

a few random thoughts for the end of the year

- i miss working in the same company/office as my big brother.
- it's been 10 years.. but i still miss my dad as much as i did 9 years ago.
- even though it seems rather impossible i do love my husband more every day.
- to steal a quote from my friend terra: i am thankful for friends that are family and family that are friends
- though the past couple months of this year have been both beautiful and painful, i come out of it with a smile and more hope and belief than years past.
- i like writing cryptic sentences..
- there were so many times i wanted to blog about something very specific that i was going through at that moment and didn't.. i wish i had.. maybe i still will.. new goal; Write More!
- i wish i could work part-time and then volunteer with animal rescue or animal shelters
- while i do like all the owl shirts and jewelry..  i'd prefer sloths
- i love my momma so much
- i hope to be a better friend in the new year
- being positive about life and work and friends has been hard the past few months.. going to strive to be more positive and supportive.. if i'm not please slap some sense into me!

to my friends that are my family and to my beautiful family that are my best friends
stay safe, wear your seatbelts, slow down and enjoy life and above all know this..

I love you all.

Here's to a better and "productive" new year!!!
(and by "productive" i mean babies..  and by babies i mean i want a baby! wish me luck ya'll, we need it!!)