a few random thoughts for the end of the year

- i miss working in the same company/office as my big brother.
- it's been 10 years.. but i still miss my dad as much as i did 9 years ago.
- even though it seems rather impossible i do love my husband more every day.
- to steal a quote from my friend terra: i am thankful for friends that are family and family that are friends
- though the past couple months of this year have been both beautiful and painful, i come out of it with a smile and more hope and belief than years past.
- i like writing cryptic sentences..
- there were so many times i wanted to blog about something very specific that i was going through at that moment and didn't.. i wish i had.. maybe i still will.. new goal; Write More!
- i wish i could work part-time and then volunteer with animal rescue or animal shelters
- while i do like all the owl shirts and jewelry..  i'd prefer sloths
- i love my momma so much
- i hope to be a better friend in the new year
- being positive about life and work and friends has been hard the past few months.. going to strive to be more positive and supportive.. if i'm not please slap some sense into me!

to my friends that are my family and to my beautiful family that are my best friends
stay safe, wear your seatbelts, slow down and enjoy life and above all know this..

I love you all.

Here's to a better and "productive" new year!!!
(and by "productive" i mean babies..  and by babies i mean i want a baby! wish me luck ya'll, we need it!!)

should be sleeping

It is the end of a 3 day weekend. This weekend was pretty great and completely unexpected. Friday we did a little shopping at Lowe's for a ceiling fan and an electric radiator. That evening we stayed in and just took it easy. Which was probably the best thing we could have done considering what the next two days brought us. Saturday I hooked up with a friend I haven't seen for far too long. We met up for breakfast at Atlanta Bread Co and chatted for a couple of hours. Another friend showed up toward the end of breakfast that I hadn't seen for awhile also. Celia & Christina.. It was good to see you again! Looking forward to more breakfasts! I went home after breakfast and Eric had gone out to a friends house for a few hours so to kill time I set out to install our new ceiling fan in the bedroom. I had to pat myself on the back for getting it up with no problems. I'd post a picture but I don't want to inflict the pain which is the crazy wallpaper on my bedroom ceiling upon you. After Eric got home we decided to go out. We decided upon O'Malley's. We normally don't go up to Weston on Friday or Saturdays but we thought what the heck. I looked up the band that was playing and they sounded pretty cool.. so we set out for Weston, MO. We got there and it was PACKED! Eric managed to find a table with a group of people that so kindly shared with us and we sat back and enjoyed the musical styling of Connacht Town. While there we ran into Wendy who we had met I believe on St Patrick's day up in Weston earlier last year. Of course I couldn't remember her name correctly and we called her Mindy.. but hey.. they sound alike! Anyway toward the end of the night Wendy came and sat with us and we had a blast. Met a few members of the band which by the way was amazing and I will see them play again! The lovely Wendy then introduced me to a shot called Irish Blow Job. So I proceeded to get drunk! I had a blast. As we were leaving Mike (one of the owners of O'Malley's) and Wendy asked us back on Sunday.. and we said Sure!! Why Not!! (first mistake). Sunday came and we went back up to Weston and we met up with Wendy again and I then had 3 1/2 pints of Magnars Cider, 2 Irish Blow Jobs, and 1 Irish Car Bomb.. I was wasted and we had a blast. I got so drunk I wasn't sure if I'd make it home without losing all the contents in my stomach.. We said our goodbyes and poor Eric had to drive a whiny drunk me home.. I always seem to remember how much fun it is to get drunk but never remember early enough how much it sucks to be so damn drunk and the pain it inflicts later.. It was amazingly awful. I did make it home and through the rest of the night without losing it. I had such a good time and hope Wendy considers us friends.. as we do her. So now it is Monday and Eric and I woke up feeling like crap but not really hungover. I was smart enough to take some Advil before I went to bed. We went out for breakfast and then got some more shopping done today and some laundry. I should have gotten more things done around the house this weekend but there is always tomorrow. So now I am sitting in bed and Eric is at work. Finally time to call the weekend over. I'm off to sleep now and hope I can get to sleep quickly and sleep soundly so that I can get up and go to work tomorrow and be productive. To Wendy, I'm glad we got to hang out and I hope we get together again soon and maybe have a couple of Irish Blow Jobs again!; Celia, it was good to catch up, till next month; Mike, I'm glad you got to see me! Ha!; Lauren, Coy, Justin & Jodie.. Thanks for sharing the table and all the laughs at O'Malley's; Eric, I always enjoy spending time with you and I already miss you and it's only Monday..... And Goodnight.

Music

A letter to my friends.. well that and all of the Internet.

Dearest Friends,
I would like you to know that I like music. Actually I love music. While I don't like all music I have always felt a connection to music, the rhythm, the melodies, the emotions. I've been to a symphony concert and had tears rolling down my face because it was absolutely beautiful. I like classic rock, soft rock, heavy metal, classical, some country, folk, music from other countries where I don't have a clue what language it is or what they are saying but the sound is so awesome that I can't stop listening, hell I even like yodeling and polka. Okay, okay.. I think you get the point. Now the problem... I don't get out much. I listen to the radio but that is usually the only way I find new music. Which, by the way is really difficult (for me at least) to figure out what song is playing and by whom.. since the radio stations don't tell you that kind of stuff very often.. really pisses me off. I'm not much of a web surfing kind of gal. I've been doing more but still not very good at it and not sure that I care to be good at it. Internet sleuthing... not really my thing much. I get on the computer.. I check my email.. a very little bit of Hollywood gossip and that is pretty much it. So I am here now asking you all to let me know of bands you think I would like and that I should look up and listen. Hell.. even bands that have been around for a while.. that "I should know because everyone knows who The Smiths are!" And no.. I didn't know who The Smiths were until a few weeks ago.. I had no idea who Morrissey was!!! (told you I don't get out much!!) Yes I have heard some of their songs but I had never heard the band name The Smiths.
I bring this up because.. lately I keep hearing a song on the radio and I really like it. Rockin' out in my car driving down the highway. I never hear the radio idiots say what the name of the song is before it plays or by whom.. so I always wait for the song to be over and intently listen.. and then... and then... NOTHING! No song title... no band name.. nothing! Really pisses me off! Stupid radio. Lately the radio has pissed me off so much I haven't listened to it in over a week. Any way.. so my brother came to me just today telling me about a CD his wife got him and I go "hmm", you know I have heard of that band.. I have a couple of other friends that have mentioned them briefly amongst themselves and I finally thought.. well maybe I'll remember to look them up when I get home. Of course I don't look them up till..(what time is it.. ) 1:00AM! Which is the time I finally remembered to go out to the iTunes and type in their name. I pick the bands most popular song and WTF!!! THERE IS THAT DAMN SONG I HAVE CONSTANTLY WAITED FOR THE RADIO ASS-HOLES TO TELL ME WHO IT WAS THEY WERE PLAYING! So friends.. I have finally looked up Kings Of Leon. A lovely group of brothers and a cousin from Tennessee that has some pretty amazing music.
Oh.. so I should get to my point.. If you know of a band and you think I'll like it please mention it to me.. I may know a song or two without knowing the actual bands name.. and have been really frustrated in my inept ability to find music that I have heard and liked. Please please share.. because if you don't actually share that info with me I won't remember to look them up.. I am not real smart and would think.. "you know.. my friends have mentioned that band to each other... they really seem to like them.. but I don't have a clue who they are.. maybe I should look them up".. I really do need your help.. So I'm pleading with you now.. Please send me your suggestions. Please HELP ME! Make me listen!

My latest suggestion is holiday music: The Hotel Cafe Presents Winter Songs, my favorite song is called Winter Song by Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson. The album is by various artist singing winter or holiday songs. Other artists on the album include Brandi Carlile, Lenka, Fiona Apple, Katy Perry, Priscilla Ahn and more. Hope you enjoy.

You can listen to the whole song and see the video here
Below is a YouTube.com video I found of them working on the song in the studio.

Another Older Post

Still consolidating my writing that I have been doing for awhile. This is a blog entry that was on my MySpace page that I wrote July 17, 2007.

I promise that I will post something new here real soon.

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Sometimes being alone sucks.

Some days (like tonight) I sit back and miss the days when I would have friends over almost every night. Ever since Jeff and I split up it seems that my life has gotten much emptier. Not that I don't love the guy I'm with, and he does fill my life with joy and is a great friend, it just gets lonely when he works nights and I have no one to talk to (which is most nights). I sit in this house with 3 cats and my dog and miss having people to just sit around and have a good time and laugh with. Sure seems like a long time ago when I used to go over to my brother-in-laws house and just play cards, have a drink and just shoot-the-shit with a group of friends. I really don't mind some days coming home and having the night to myself. But I do miss the card playing days.

I see my friends now with people they have known for many years.. They always have someone to talk to and stories to tell and inside jokes. I wonder now.. Was it me? Did something I do or something I said push people away.. am I just that forgettable? I have people I've known for many years just walk away and never say goodbye. People I used to be extremely close to and thought that we would always be friends just disappear, maybe to only be heard from again when I get an email when they need something... someone to watch their kids, someone to go help their mother with some catering job. Did the fact that I got a divorce really make people dislike me. I was a loyal friend.. I was always there if they needed me.. I still am there.. just quietly waiting.

I will admit...that once Jeff and I split I took some time out to just figure some things out. I needed some space to deal with what happened.. but the few that came around did not stay around.. the phone calls, what few there were, dwindled to none.

I'm not looking for pity here. I guess I'm just trying to understand...

I always tried to not be that pestering annoying friend.. maybe that was my downfall in not having life long friends. Maybe I tried so hard to not call too often and not say the wrong thing, to try and insure that they aren't saying about me what I've heard them say about so many other friends.. (Don't be the bitchy one.. don't say something stupid.. don't be too needy.. don't.. don't.. just don't) (don't lie.. you know we have all talked about our friends behind their backs).

WHY DO I LET THIS CRAP GET TO ME! {sigh}

Maybe now I still put too much thought into "trying" to have friends.. maybe it isn't that hard.. Maybe I just need to take the word "trying" out and just have some friends.

Surely I can figure this out.

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Anyone want to get together to play some cards, have a drink and just shoot-the-shit?

it's been so long

It's been a while since I've written.. Life has been pretty pleasant lately. Well.. of course other than the flip out I had last week. (Lets just blame that on PMS) I'm pretty excited about this week. I have dinner with Christy tomorrow. It's been really nice getting together with her again. Plus we eat sushi.. so that makes it all better! This week is also a short week for me. Thursday is Eric's an my 4 year anniversary. Can't hardly believe it has been so long. Time has just flown by. I don't think there is anything special planned but I thought it was a good excuse to take some time off work. It makes for a 5 day weekend! Nothin' much better than that! Think we are going to go to our favorite Italian restaurant.
So to recap this weekend... Eric finally got some time off after working 19 days in a row. I baked cookies on Saturday and took them to book club with me. This week we talked about Blink. Good book.. neat ideas.. hard to read. The guy kept repeating himself. I agree with Michelle, every chapter started off really good but then it all just became so repetitious that it just made it very hard to read. Next book will be Eat Pray Love. I already finished the book. I really loved it. I might even read it again. So I left Jill's house from the book club around 5:00 and went home to spend a weekend with my boy. He hadn't even taken a shower when I got there.. just a pain in the ass.. but I love him. So he got dressed and then we headed out for food at Jason's Deli. I had a wonderful sandwich, the California Club, despite the people there. I really can't stand going into a restaurant where the workers despise their jobs so much they find the customers to be an annoyance. If you hate your job so much go the fuck home! I've worked in the food business for many years. I know what it is like to have a dinner rush right before you close. Get over it.. and take my order without having an attitude! Anyway.. Eric had a salad and a very small portion of my sandwich. We then headed out to the theater to see Iron Man. We really enjoyed the movie. Looks like there is going to be more! I think that will be exciting. We then headed home and called it a night. Sunday was nice.. The weather was perfect this weekend. We headed out and got some shopping done, which made for a long day. Seemed like it was all a bit of a bust anyway. So we went to Lowes, Sams Club, Bed Bath & Beyond and Target. Of course we did all this shopping in Independence which made it worse. I hate all the stores in Independence. They never carry what I need or want at the time. I still don't know why I bother. It is just as fast to go up to Liberty. After all the shopping we were exhausted so we went home and ate some dinner and I fell asleep on the couch. All in all it was a pretty lovely weekend. I think this coming weekend will be just as good! I'm really glad Eric is getting Saturdays and Sundays off now. Plus me having 5 days off in a row won't hurt!
Till then!