Dusty Homemaker?

Oh my goodness.. It's like something has taken over in my brain and I am finally getting some things done! Oh.. and get this.. Enjoying it!! OMG!

First lets start with the apples. My mom gave me a BUNCH of apples off her apple tree. I have now made a total of 4 apple pies. FOUR APPLE PIES.. I had to give them all away since there is no way I could even eat one whole apple pie. I think I had a total of 3 slices of pie before I just couldn't take it any more. I still have apples left and I have to figure out what to do with them before they start rotting on my front porch. If you have any ideas please let me know.

Next I worked on curtains for my entry hall. I have had the fabric for the curtains for over a year and have finally started working on them. We have even had the rods mounted for a year. (I am such a procrastinator) I have 2 of the 4 panels complete. I'll finish up the other 2 this week. I also finally hemmed a pair of Eric's pants that he had never gotten to wear because they were too long. Granted he won't be able to wear them much longer since he is losing weight. (47 pounds lost!! GO Sweetie!) They are already a bit too big for him but with a belt they are fine for the time being.

Now.. onto the big project. We have been remodeling our bathroom for 2 years now. We had the tile and all wainscoting and moldings installed last summer. I had started to paint only because we needed to get the toilet and radiator installed before winter hit. So by winter the wall that is behind the toilet and radiator was the only one painted. BUT we did have the ability to now take showers in our own home. That was so very exciting. That and I didn't have to go downstairs to go pee in the middle of the night and almost break my neck on the stairs. So this weekend we have been working away on the bathroom in order to get the sink installed and finish up the bathroom. I have been painting all day and it is almost complete. I have one more coat of white paint to put on the moldings and the wainscoting and then we can install the sink and a few of the metal fixtures. I will then have the window and the shelving unit left to paint which I hope to also finish this week or at least by the end of the weekend. I almost have a completely finished bathroom!!! Oh and we also got the door on! Granted we only got one of the three doors installed but it is the most important door of them all! The one that when someone is walking up the stairs they can't peek into the bathroom!

So I have been getting all this stuff done that has taken me more than a year to complete. I have also been better at keeping things picked up around this house. Granted we still have a long way to go before everything is gone through and organized but we are definitely moving in the right direction.

It is weird how I am suddenly in the mood to get this stuff done. So I am taking advantage of it and trying to not slow down. I don't know how long this will last before I get to the point where I can't stand to do it anymore. Let's hope it is after it get everything done.. Which I'm sure will be NEVER!

Another Older Post

Still consolidating my writing that I have been doing for awhile. This is a blog entry that was on my MySpace page that I wrote July 17, 2007.

I promise that I will post something new here real soon.

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Sometimes being alone sucks.

Some days (like tonight) I sit back and miss the days when I would have friends over almost every night. Ever since Jeff and I split up it seems that my life has gotten much emptier. Not that I don't love the guy I'm with, and he does fill my life with joy and is a great friend, it just gets lonely when he works nights and I have no one to talk to (which is most nights). I sit in this house with 3 cats and my dog and miss having people to just sit around and have a good time and laugh with. Sure seems like a long time ago when I used to go over to my brother-in-laws house and just play cards, have a drink and just shoot-the-shit with a group of friends. I really don't mind some days coming home and having the night to myself. But I do miss the card playing days.

I see my friends now with people they have known for many years.. They always have someone to talk to and stories to tell and inside jokes. I wonder now.. Was it me? Did something I do or something I said push people away.. am I just that forgettable? I have people I've known for many years just walk away and never say goodbye. People I used to be extremely close to and thought that we would always be friends just disappear, maybe to only be heard from again when I get an email when they need something... someone to watch their kids, someone to go help their mother with some catering job. Did the fact that I got a divorce really make people dislike me. I was a loyal friend.. I was always there if they needed me.. I still am there.. just quietly waiting.

I will admit...that once Jeff and I split I took some time out to just figure some things out. I needed some space to deal with what happened.. but the few that came around did not stay around.. the phone calls, what few there were, dwindled to none.

I'm not looking for pity here. I guess I'm just trying to understand...

I always tried to not be that pestering annoying friend.. maybe that was my downfall in not having life long friends. Maybe I tried so hard to not call too often and not say the wrong thing, to try and insure that they aren't saying about me what I've heard them say about so many other friends.. (Don't be the bitchy one.. don't say something stupid.. don't be too needy.. don't.. don't.. just don't) (don't lie.. you know we have all talked about our friends behind their backs).

WHY DO I LET THIS CRAP GET TO ME! {sigh}

Maybe now I still put too much thought into "trying" to have friends.. maybe it isn't that hard.. Maybe I just need to take the word "trying" out and just have some friends.

Surely I can figure this out.

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Anyone want to get together to play some cards, have a drink and just shoot-the-shit?

another something I wrote a while back

Wrote this a while back when I was sad and thinking of my father..

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Hello you...
I have missed you...
I have dreams and see your face...
I remember you so clearly...

There are times I sit and think...
Was there anything I could have done..
You left me so early...
We were so young...

I see your eyes.
I see your smile.
I feel your hugs.
In my dreams you haunt me.

There is so much I want to say.
So much I should have done.
I can't get you out of my head.
Can't seem to let you go.

I still love you
No matter what they say
I still love you
In my special way

I wish you would leave my dreams.
Let me sleep
I'm so tired.
to tired to weep

I love you
come back to me
I love you
Please just let me be.