8.12.2009

a new journey? Maybe.. but then again maybe not

{time for a little venting}

ugg..

It's such a life change.. Do you want to just let it happen? But we have been just letting it happen for two and a half years. It should have happened by now right? Least that is what I think.

But it's scary when it's forced. Then we are forcing the life change. I'm not sure I'm ok with that. But shouldn't I find out if something is wrong? Perhaps...

It's one thing if it just happens and you go "oops! Looks like things are going to be different from now on". It's a whole other to feel the pressure and the larger emotional roller coasters should you force it. It just doesn't feel right to "make" it happen.

But everyone keeps mentioning it. "Why don't you just go?", "Do you want it?" (duh), "Hurry up! Pop one out!!"..

Enough all ready people.. it's like you don't realize how much it already bothers me and you just keep mentioning it. This is a huge decision.. especially if there is going to be doctors, needles and lots of money that I don't have and shit. I'm just not sure if I'm ready to force it yet.

Give it time.. it will come and I will go when I'm ready.

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