why is it that I can't seem to have what I want in life.. I'm so close that I can taste it but it still seems so far away.

A Dream of Mine: To be able to stay home with my family and my pets. To get up when the dew is still wet on the trees and to walk into my backyard during the quite morning. Open the door and turn on some quiet peaceful music. Turn on my wheel and feel the wet clay between my fingers. The heat off the kiln to fire my next piece. The coolness of the piece that I dried last night and to contemplate what colors it wants to be. I can hear the birds.. the jingle of my dogs tags that hangs from their collars. The morning sun shining through the roof of my little room in my garden. To go inside once the afternoon sun hits high in the sky to take a break and wake Eric from morning slumber. Eat.. relax.. Post a pic of my newly finished piece, shiny and plump like that pregnant woman I saw while shopping the other day. I painted it green like the shirt she was wearing.. the lovely curves make me smile and think of that woman who will never know how much she inspired me. Go to the store to pick up some pasta and fresh veggies for our dinner tonight. Sit back on the deck with my furry kids and my Eric and enjoy before I pack food for his nightly patrol. Sit in the library and read more of that book for my book club later that weekend. I love those girls and our get-togethers. Call it a night and climb into bed and snuggle up to Eric's pillow and take in his smell and wait for him to come home in the morning and wrap his heavy arm over me. Bask in that moment for a while and get up and start it all over again.

--- It's a beautiful dream.. I hope I can make it happen.. Wish me luck.

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