So I thought about love today also. I think it is pretty grand. I have a wonderful man. I wish I could do more for him. If I could show the world how he looks at me and smiles it just might bring peace to this crazy place. He makes me happy even through the crappiest days. Today I sat in our lazy-boy all sick and ugly looking watching a TV series on my laptop. He comes down and tells me that I'm cute. Totally hard to imagine.... I looked so bad. Yesterdays makeup, red nose from blowing it all day, oily hair pulled up in a bun, bad breath.. I'm sure I could go on.. but I'll spare you. And even though I felt like shit and looked the part he made me smile and laugh. He made me happy. I giggled today and I tried my best to make him laugh (totally succeeded!!) This man I wake up to in the mornings is amazing, kind and patient. How could a crazy girl like me be so lucky. He makes me light up. And while I could probably live my life without him.. I could get my butt out of bed and make it into work and pay my bills and have friends that make me laugh and perhaps be with another man.. but why would I? This man I want to walk through this life with and the afterlife with. We made a pact... We would die together. We will be together hand in hand to walk into the life here after together. I would follow him anywhere... Ever see that movie What Dreams May Come with Robin Williams? It's something like that. I may say I need a day off from being with him.. but once he is around I never want him to leave. I'm not even saying our relationship is easy.. but loving him is and it's pretty easy to tell he loves me back. I suppose that is one of the best things. To feel loved back is amazing and to be able to see it and hear it and know it is more than i could ever hope for. I know what it is like to wonder if the man I'm with truly loves me. More than that "I hope she is happy and healthy love".. More like the "I will break you if you make her shed one tear because you have said something mean to her" love. The love that doesn't know shame. The love that cries when watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind during scenes when they are just sitting on the couch and hanging out.. because it reminds him of how much he loves to be with me. To sit on the couch doing nothing with me. Is that love? I think so..

No comments: