4.14.2008

sadly not yet..

Another month has gone by and I am still not pregnant. Eric and I have been trying since January and we haven't had any luck yet. It's only been 4 months, which isn't very long but I hoped it was going to be easy, but apparently this is going to have to be something I have to endure. Least that's what it feels like. I was pretty heart broken the first month after we started trying to get pregnant. I told myself to buck-up.. other people try for years and you have only really given it one good month. So we kept trying.. I was good the past few months when I found out I wasn't pregnant. I was OK.. ready to try again the next month. Not upset, not worried, not frustrated. This month was different. I don't know why but Sunday hit along with a horrible bout of the cramps and I lost it. I was pretty upset, crying on Eric shoulder wondering if we should have kids or not... He consoled me, and said we will just try again.. We were busy a few days and weren't able to be together as much as we should have so again this month we try again.. We have been discussing the idea of using an ovulation kit. I just can't decide... they can be pretty expensive. Eric suggests that we give it another month...

I don't know what I would do without Eric.. He is so patient with me. I can be such an emotional wreck and he just sits by and lets me get through it. He doesn't get mad or upset at me.. he is just there when I need him the most and lets me cry and gives me the best hugs.

I can only hope that when we do get pregnant that I can be as good as a mother as mine and our kids can be as patient with people as Eric.

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